I cut my penus on the lid.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
i believe in u and ur pee
wow bdsm is so cute
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize