I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
