Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
