her vagine was all disorganized.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
