WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
