ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
