I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
