hotel room ftw
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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