Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize