he wants to bone in the snuggie
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
