Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
