Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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