Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
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