You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Randomize
