So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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