Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
