this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Randomize
