A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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