So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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