He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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