Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
