I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
