Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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