ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I don't think brook has ever known best
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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