none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
