I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Randomize
