The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
