Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
