He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
