I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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