She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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