Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
