stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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