Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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