Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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