And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
