you traded sex for a burrito?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
