My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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