So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
