Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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