Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I feel like a drive thru vagina
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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