I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
