u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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