i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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