Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
