Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize