is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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