No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
