So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
