I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
The ass gains better be worth it
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