I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i think my mom watched the whole time
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize