I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
