If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
