How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
