i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Randomize
