just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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