WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Randomize
