I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
