One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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