shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
