Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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