hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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