real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize