That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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