we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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