While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
