careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Randomize
