Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
