you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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