what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize