omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
