I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
