I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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