How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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